reverb 10 catch-up, part one

The last couple of weeks have seen me a) deathly ill with the stomach plague and b) out of town without internet, so I am marvelously behind on Reverb 10! I intend to finish, though! I am determined!

I hand-wrote some responses while I was in Missouri for the holiday. Mostly short, but sweet!

December 14 – Appreciate. What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

I appreciate my friends. I appreciate my ability to say “hey, anyone want to …” and get a “yes” response almost every time.

Ten years ago, in May of 2000, I lost my ex-roommate to cancer. Jen was one of only two people I knew when I moved to Minnesota in 1998. Later that year, the other person moved to California. I knew a couple of other people, but the relationships were in fairly early stages, and I didn’t know how they’d turn out. I’m an introvert by nature. I wondered what kind of social life I’d have – would I settle in with new friends, or would I be lonely, like I was in Missouri?

A decade later, I have a found family in Minnesota, a group of people I love beyond measure. I never have to be lonely, not unless I choose to be. I don’t know how good I am at expressing gratitude, but I hope they all know I love them very much.

December 15 – 5 Minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

(Note: this came from notes hand-written in 5 minutes in the middle of a Texas Roadhouse. I make no guarantee it’ll be comprehensible to anyone but me!)

The Rock Boat. Green River Ordinance on the Promenade, leaning against a speaker and laughing when Tyrone Wells didn’t know the words to “The Joker.” Running The Amazing Cozumel Race in the pouring rain. Freezing cold weather in Florida, naturally.

Disaster party. Horrible SyFy movies with Tiffany and Debbie Gibson.

Butch Walker at the Fine Line. a-ha in Chicago, for the first and only time before they retire. Butch in Detroit.

Making steampunk circus costumes.

Losing Luna.

CONvergence. My tiny purple top hat. Boozy fruit, made of burning. Voltaire. Leigh dancing on stage.

Craft nights. Zach reading inappropriate books aloud. Paul trying to sell Leigh a mythical laptop desk.

New My Chemical Romance album. Inception. Visits from far-away friends. Making brand new friends. Visiting San Francisco for the first time. Misti’s wedding. Our Big September Babies Rock Band Birthday Party. Horrible, no good, very bad movies like The Wolfman and Clash of the Titans. We see more bad movies than good movies, that probably says something about us.

Concerts. Popsickle Fest. Warped Tour. Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers. Carbon Leaf. So many, so hard to keep track!

Depression. Recovery. Friends. It was a year.

December 16 – Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

This year, I think, one of my problems has been that I haven’t let other people change me enough – or that I haven’t changed with some of my friends. I’ve felt stagnant. I’ve been jealous of people who are moving forward, or who have found happiness with who and where they are. I’ve slid backwards, been too easily hurt by friends who mean no harm at all.

I don’t know what this says about my perspective on the world. Perhaps that I look inward too much, that I need to focus more on the outer world in order to change myself?

December 17 – Lesson Learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

I learned that I need to do. I need to move. I need to create on a daily basis. This isn’t a new lesson, but it’s one I’ve failed to grasp many times. I am happier when I’m creating.

Related, I have learned that I need to be content creating for myself, without an audience. Audiences are good! Everyone who creates something wants someone else to appreciate it! However, I’ve occasionally come to rely on feedback so much that when it disappears, I shrivel. I need to remember that I need to create for myself first, everyone else second.

How to apply that? Good question. It’s the constant struggle, to keep my brain on task!

December 18 – Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it?

I tried learning how to sew this year. It was a disaster, in a way – not the sewing itself, but convincing my brain to let me be bad at something is nearly impossible. I definitely chose the wrong time to start, when the hoped-for result was a costume that would be worn in front of a couple thousand people! So, perhaps in 2011, I might try sewing again, on a much, much smaller scale!

I also want to try writing short stories. It’s a format I don’t play in for my original fiction, but I think it might help tighten my plotting skills!

… and, that’s enough catch-up for one post. Can I finish catching up by the end of the year? It’s a goal!

1 Comment

LeighDecember 29th, 2010 at 11:46 pm

Thinking about the laptop desk will never not make me grin like an idiot. ;)

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